I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE AL-SHABAAB

Saturday morning.

I log into my Twitter account and check on what is trending. I notice that #MyDressMyChoice has been replaced by #ManderaBusAttack. I click on the link and the first image is too much for me. I cry. Log off. Try to forget the images for the rest of the day (That is why I was bored @Happie and Winnie)

May the souls of the departed rest in peace.
I stand as a Muslim to condemn the heinous act that took place on Saturday. That Said........

Sunday Afternoon

I decide to watch clips about the attack on YouTube, I don't get past the first three minutes.I log on to Twitter, the topic is still trending. I go through the images then come upon a screen shot of a post made on some group on Facebook called "Bungle la Mwananchi" which has tuned into an e-war zone.

Below are some of the posts I found on the page: (the image on the left is the screenshot and whoever posted it seems to be wearing a Kenyan security agency uniform on his profile)

Let me make some things very clear:

I will not apologize for the killings made by a group of lunatics who claim that they fight for a religion because what I got very clearly from my Madrasa is that Allah does not need to be fought for, He needs praise and Worship. Allah does not ask for blood in His name, He made blood to run in our veins, to keep us alive. Allah is powerful, He does not need humans to fight for Him.

I will not apologize for Al-shabaab because being a Muslim does not give me an automatic membership to this group. No. I have never killed anyone, let alone make an innocent Kenyan lie die down and blow his head off. As a matter of fact, I am a Nurse, I take care of the wounded. Who would have thought of such a thing, a Muslim Nurse? Mh.

I am definitely not going to apologize for Al-Shabaab because they do not represent me. Contrary to common opinion, Al-Shabaab is not the International Muslim Association. No. I do not know which scripture they follow, I have no idea who interprets the Quran for them because its definitely not my Ustadh. So before you claim that the Quran encourages murder, take some time off Twitter, Facebook and whatever else you do on the Internet and read it online. Unless you think that all Muslims conspired to change the scripture over night so as to contradict your opinion on the teachings.

Thika Road Explosions
I remember I was headed to a Family get together when this happened. I was in a matatu and just a few minutes from Homeland when my relatives started calling me frantically. I got to know of the explosions from them before I passed the scene of the explosion a few minutes later. A woman behind me said, "Hawa watu warudi kwao". I kept quiet. Notice that I was called to be informed of the happenings, I did not have prior knowledge of the explosions despite my being Muslim.

Where exactly is "Kwetu?" I am Kenyan. This is my home. No one is LETTING me stay. I BELONG here.
In town, according to my 'Non-Muslim' friend, a Somali man is chased by a group of touts and idlers all the way from Bus Station.


Yes, I am Muslim. Islam is my religion.

But No, I am not a terrorist. I used to tell my friends in campus that each time there is a terrorist attack in the city, people look at me suspiciously, i referred to it as "The Eye". They did not believe me until the Gikomba Blasts. My friend accompanied me to town and we had to board a bus and when we sat  down, she whispered "Its true". I am not responsible for the terrorist attacks in Kenya or anywhere else. Branding every Muslim a terrorist would be synonymous to branding Americans terrorists just because Bush decided to invade Iraq (That qualifies as terror too). Or branding every Christian a thief in regards to Kanyari and his tactics. Ridiculous, right?

I am also scared. Hypothetically, if I am walking on a street in Nairobi and a grenade goes off in the same street, would I not get hurt? Die? Or do they put religion detectors on these things? I am not sure.

I am Muslim; 

Its not my fault that the P.Resident insists on wearing Military gear as a fashion statement and does not walk the wear if you get what i mean.....I am under the same man, the Commander in Chief of the armed forces. The man who would have had great success in an advertising firm. A man of selfies. A man of his word and nothing past the words. A man who is in Abu Dhabi for Formula 1 while the people he swore to protect die in the hands of lunatics.

Its not my fault that a gang of armed men and one is said to have had a rocket propeller can terrorise Kenyans in their own country, flee and the 'security agencies' appear later. That the Government continues to issue warnings to terrorists who do not warn before they kill. That I live in a country where people come in and out as they please because some man at the border was paid some amount of money.

It is not my fault that the ministry for Internal affairs or lack there of goes around spinning tales backed by his wing man, Kimaiyo. I mean, why are these two clowns in government? But do not entirely dismiss Ole Lenku, he personally signed the memo that asked all Kenyans to assemble and welcome the Commander In Chief from Hague where he is facing charges against the same Kenyans.

It is not my fault that Kenya has counties that are so marginalised that we can not hear them cry. My friends are doing internship in Garrisa and tell me the residents refer to themselves as KENYA B. Yes, because they have been forgotten by government after government. Its like the Wild Wild West only in this case, its the North.

It is not my fault that we are being led by a government that takes the easy way out for example, closing mosques in Mombasa. Bright idea huh? Wrong. How does that stop radicalisation? The difference between a Muslim youth in Mombasa and I is the environment. We read the same scripture but what makes it easier to make a youth at the Coast a blood thirsty lunatic? Yes, you have closed a mosque, have you changed the thinking of the particular youth? No. You have reinforced the brainwashing because the Victim's mentality sets in and hallo Al-Shabaab recruit.

The Media
This is my favourite, this is where when a Muslim does something horrible, the fact that they are Muslim has to be emphasised. I have asked myself why that is the case so many times. I thought maybe its because they kill in the name of the Islam but just because  they say it, doesn't make it true. It is the same shit as Ruto claiming they killed the militia, it bullshit and you know it so why believe it?

How come the same rule does not apply when every one else does something horrible? When a Muslim does something awesome, how come the same rule does not apply? e.g. Muslim man helps save people from Westgate. Ridiculous.

One more thing: If Islam really does suction the killing of 'Non-Muslims', how come I do not kill despite the fact that we read the same Book? Why am i not automatically converted into a Killing machine?

Did you know that according to the Quran, The Prophet said: "Beware! Whoever oppresses a Muahid (Non-Muslim) or snatches any of  his rights and causes him pain which he cannot bear, or takes anything from him without his permission ,I will fight such a Muslim on the day of Judgement"

Last but not least, lemme quote my own tweet (@MostlySafina)

Yes, I am Muslim

No, I don't apologise for Al-Shabaab. My being Muslim doesn't make me accountable for their actions.

Regards, L.O.P

LIFE LESSONS FROM CANDY CRUSH :-)

 I am not blessed with a phone with a humongous memory so subsequently, I can't download Candy Crush.I felt sad for a few minutes after my phone informed me that i did not have enough phone memory to download the game of my life then I realized I have a Facebook account and Wi-Fi from my good neighbor whose name I don't know and viola, no vualla, or is it vwalla.....ah, you get the point, I am past Level 70 currently.

I am not a serious gamer. I don't even know how to hold a gaming pad (I know i have lost eligible bachelors with that statement) so I like silly games. I have finished all types of Papa Arcade (its this really cool food game, you will love it -lemme know if they have added another cafeteria and i will be on that website faster than Kemeto). After this phase in my life, I took on Bejeweled which I am amazing at then Temple run which I never got really good at then the answer to all my gaming prayers came true in the form of CANDY CRUSH SAGA

This is like everything I like all in one place - I am talking about the candy itself. It is like being let loose in Diamond Plaza food court or those corridor shop in allllll malls that sell sweets in kilos. If you don't know what i am talking about, you have no business playing candy crush. All in all, after you get through the initial Sugar crushes and divines, you continue with the game, not because the levels get easier but because you want to see where the endless path might lead - pretty much like life. Is there a last level in Candy crush? -Food for thought, or might I say, candy for thought :-)

I love the game for all the waste of time and passing of time it represents but also because I have derived a couple of life lessons from the game. Yes. A couple. Why would anyone try to make a philosophy from Candy Crush, you say? Well, because I can.

Take Candy Crush as your life. Fit that shoe, fitted? Good. Lets learn.

1. Never give up
CC: You use up all 5 lives,you get stuck in one level for 3 days (level 70 is a *ch) but you still spend every waking moment figuring the level until you are able to pass the level and with all 3 stars.

Lesson: Naturally, when we do something we supposedly want to do for the rest  of our lives, not the ones forced on you by society or to pay bills, we stop doing it after a total of one try and give excuses for the rest of the time. Imagine if you applied this attitude to your goals.....you would be on your way to greatness.

2. Focus
CC: Every level of the game has a goal e.g. clear all the jelly or bring all the ingredients to the bottom. This is what you are supposed to do. There are many distractons of course but the only way to or rather, the one thing you have to do is clear the jelly. No more, no less.

Lesson: You have to keep your eye on the goal no matter what is going on around you. As humans, we get really distracted and by the time we realize, we are on our way to Rumuruti, while you were headed to Kisumu. Keep your eye on the prize. No matter what.

3. Know the game
CC: There are those levels that are not like the others. There are these circular electric circles that act like as doorways to the other box - you get the picture. I stayed in one level for 4 days because I hadn't taken time to learn the significance of the electric circles but when I got the drift, I was five levels up in 10 minutes.

Lesson: You want something, lets say, you want to become a real estate mogul. Sweetheart, take time to know how the industry works in the country, who are the movers and who are the shakers. Do your homework. This applies to everything. Do your research, know how things work. Don't do things without market research then blame everybody if it doesn't work.

4.Think
CC: You are given 15 moves to get 300000 as a score. This are very few moves according to candy crush counting. You gotta ask yourself, how am I going to get to the required score of the level and not run out of moves. If you start playing without thinking about it, you are wasting your time.

Lesson: Use your brain. Most of us don't like thinking and most of us don't like thinking. We let people think for us hence our stagnation in everything really. THINK, that is why you have a brain.

5. Ask for help
CC: All levels have power ups. These are meant to help you get to the next level faster and with a higher score.
Lesson: It took a while before I could bring myself to use the power ups because in my head, I thought they made me less able to play the game. That my friend, its called pride. NO ONE has the monopoly of knowledge in anything. No matter how good you think you are, someone else knows something you don't, even if they are not as accomplished as you are.

6. One right move is all it takes
CC: Have you ever played one move and it leads to this avalanche of moves and all you have to do is sit back and watch your score increase and win the game? I love when that happens.
Lesson: Keep doing what you are doing and one day, you will make a move and everything else will fall in place. Its like retiring at 30 and your money works for you and until you make the golden move, don't stop e.g. Looking for Johnny was Yemi Alade's move and suddenly, everyone is looking for Johnny.

7. Not all that is chocolate is sweet
CC: The spreading chocolate is the mot annoying, sardistic candy of them all. Nkt.

Lesson: People will always want to appear like they are rooting for you and they have your back until you start rising and they become the proverbial knife in the back. Be cautious, take it from me, the least expected people will be there for you. The ones who you expect to might as well kill you. Not everything or anyone who appears good has good intention.

8. Hang around with like minded people
CC:  You can only match like colors that are alike most of the time. This is the only way you win the game. Blue and green don't create any effect, but blue and blue make you inch closer to the ultimate win.

Lesson: Please note that I have used the word 'LIKE-MINDED' so for the racist people reading this post, it ain't about the color, no, its about what you want, where you want to be in a few years, what you want in life. People who want different things in life will only bring you down.

9. There is power in diversity
CC: When you match a stripped candy and a wrapped candy, they form this humongous tripped candy that has a horizontal and diagonal effect. It is amazing :-)

Lesson: Yes, there is power in being different. You could be like-minded but have fundamental differences. This difference can only make you stronger, bigger, better. People are afraid of diversity. Lets face it, we live in a world where if all people were black, we would still find something to separate us like the different shades of black.In this regard, when two or more diverse people come together, they become an unstoppable force, they create something beautiful. e.g instead of displaying the foolishness of I am kikuyu, i am Luo - how about you start a mixed band and have the audience of the two tribes? Be a legend, not some stupid tribalist.

Please note: I believe i speak for all Facebook gamers when i say this: when we invite you to play the game, we really don't care if you do, we are earning more lives. Get over yourself.

Regards, L.O.P

THE CIRCLE INSIDE THE INNER CIRCLE

This is my premiere blog.

I am shy.I know people who have met me are most probably sticking out their tongues in protest. I am not shy in the sense that i can't stand in front of people and talk.I am shy in the sense that i can't stand in front of myself and hold my own. I suffer from the Inner Circle Syndrome. - for those who are from googling the above named 'condition', welcome back. Shall we continue?

Last week i strong armed my pal, *insert name, into buying me dinner. My sister was away and there is no fun in making dinner for one. But i like his company, he is those people who challenge me. Very few people do that. Actually, just a handful. He was late but i had a book so i didn't mind, but it made something clear - I HATE MY OWN COMPANY, and indeed i do.

I hate my own company because it gives my mind the time to show me how stagnant i am. How much i have not moved forward nor backward - okay, maybe a little movement but nothing substantial. I hate my company because it is the only time my brain starts to take account- look at it as an internal audit. It is the only time i get shy because I can not look myself in the eye and say, "Safina, aweome work"


You might be wondering where this is going or what the hell i am ranting about, so lemme start at the beginning.

Have you ever felt that you are part of a system or part of something bigger, say bigger than yourself? Then you are ejected at neck breaking speed and now you are no where near anything big but whatever you were part of continues to grow to humongous proportions? The 'big thing' to which you had become a solid part of  -no, let me rephrase, the big thing which had become a big part of you, is functioning better and faster and.......you get the drift, without you? This is the INNER CIRCLE.

The inner circle can be anything- from friends to the big project to the dream career (i have several personalized dreams of my own)...the point is, the inner circle involves the personalities,likes, dislikes, standards of other people, it involves what others think of everything, its more of a nurture kind of setting. It is dependence. It is really the outer circle if you ask me, i came to learn of it just the other day.

So I am sure you are wondering what this lady is really yapping about: Lemme fill you in using the case of one Maria De Los Angeles (......i know, creativity level: Ole lenku)

Maria De Los Angeles (please stop reminiscing on my time...thanks) was a beautiful and talented woman. She had a brain to match. She had dreams to boot. Maria loved acting, basically the art world. She was very good at making things better, very good at making things work, making things perfect. She had ideas that would 'change the world' ( i put this in quotes because a reliable source informed me that this is a terrible cliche)
One time, she auditioned for a movie and she got a role. Suddenly, her dreams became valid (another cliche but who cares? Lupita said it and that is all that matters - yes, a black woman who carries the melanin with grace that would put skin lightners out of business but evidently, some of us didn't get the memo). Where was I...oh yes, validity.
She gave the project all she had but you guessed it, it was a flop. Then she went to a few more auditions and got some roles but eventually, they all flopped. She was later called to help out in the show, as a critic, which she did. But immediately, the project kicked off, she was thrown into the background.
Did I mention she is very good at pushing people to follow their dreams? Yes, as a matter of fact, she is. She makes plan for people, she makes sure that they know what they are good at and even takes her time to strategize and advertise on their behalf - sorta like an agent of some sort.
But in all this chaos of being the go to girl for everybody elses' dreams, she left her dreams on the background, she is also, as a matter of fact, a chronic procastinator. She could make a perfect psychic, the way she puts all her plans in the future. Then one day she realized, she doesn't have to ride on people's waves.
Remember, riding on people's waves is equal to you being on the inner, outer circle. for example,in surfing, two people don't ride the same wave, you gottsa (i am sorry, i have always wanted to use that in text) wait for your wave. But as life would have it, you are on solid ground. You can create your own sand storm, your own wave,your own circle, the circle inside the inner circle.

Your own wave is equal to the inner, inner circle. Your on circle.

• Do you sit around and go through your friend's profiles thinking they are doing so well for themselves?
• Do you see people doing something you have always wanted to do and feel so very envious?
• Do you feel like you have to wait around for someone to define your role in a bigger picture?
• Do you feel like people have a better life than you? _ (if yes, i will take this opportunity to recommend the series, Friend with Better Lives' to you ...totally unrelated but HILARIOUS)

So if you answer yes to all the above questions or even one of them, you are suffering from the Inner Circle Syndrome. The inner circle is not a guarantee, its a gamble. Lemme expound: there was a reggea band in the 1960s called the INNER CIRCLE, and the band split up when the lead singer died!!! As in, why in the hell do you sit around or sing around for someone to make you a puppet in their dream? I am sure there was someone else who could sing in that group...but they all depended on the success of the lead singer and not trusting in theirs!

Maria decided to make the circle inside the inner circle. Her own circle. Do you know what this involves?
1. Stop the pity party - like pull the plug off the woofer and get everybody out!! You are not less able than people making it in life so get up, take the first step.
P.S: By get everyone out i do not mean that you become a loner or think you run the world, i mean be you, be able to stand up by yourself, for yourself.

2. Take the first step - take it when you really wanna go to the loo. You only feel like you are going to go on yourself when you see the toilet? Same concept,things won't work for you unless you go to the toilet! Okay, you get what i mean.

3. Make the circle inside the circle - have you ever heard on the saying, 'if you don't work on your dream, some one else is going to pay you to work on theirs?' - ignore the paying part. Follow your dreams, chase them at high speed, even at the 50km/hr speed limit areas.

Wide circle narrow (see what i did there?)......The circle inside the circle = owning your dreams and following them, don't depend on other people's success to give you a temporary feeling of satisfaction,mostly at the end of the month. Hold your own, don't be shy, draw your circle.

Good thing about drawing your own circle is you can also determine the diameter *wink.

I love writing, i have made my first dot in my circle inside the inner circle. You should try it too, it feels great!!

Remember, "He that is good at making excuses is seldom good at anything else" Benjamin Franklin.

Regards, L.o.P :-)